I have been thinking about you. As a matter of fact I am not sure if I have ever stopped thinking about you ever since I came back. Your laugh, your reassuring words, your craziness, your liveliness keep coming back to haunt me. I keep telling myself that there is no point in remembering you. You are just going to be a figment of my past from now on - with no way of contacting you - no way of ensuring myself that you do really exist and are not the residue of some wild fantasy that I dreamed.
They are saying in the news that the temperature touched negative during the night. I am wondering how cold it is there. You surely must have got up early morning - long before the sun comes up. Dressed in your thermals, a cold wave would have chilled your spine as you sit up. I hope your back is better now. Whats the first thing that you do after getting up. Do you sit for your morning yoga in the dark or you lean from your wooden bed and open the window doors. It would be still dark outside but can you see the snow mountains shining off the early morning light. Is it snowing outside... I know you love the view through that window looking onto the village huts, continuing to the stepped farms with the snow covered mountains in the background. You told me that looking out of your window makes you think about your family and friends that are left behind somewhere far off. Do you also think about me now and wish that I was with you.
Slowly the light will start filling in your room. Your open doors will let everyone know that you are awake. Kheemu would be itching to get into your room or did he sleep with you last night. Oh how I envy that little beast. He simply adores you, as do all the other kids. I often wondered about your relationship with Kheemu whenever I saw you two together. I know you like to think of yourself as his big sister but I see so much motherhood in the way you look at him. Kheemu on the other hand is so protective about you that he acts more like your big brother sworn to defend you from all harm. Or does he think of himself as your boyfriend anxiously waiting to grow up so that he can get married to you :-).
Morning tea... getting dressed... morning chores... bending down through the small door to join everyone for breakfast... everyone circled around the kitchen fire... red light of the burning wood illuminating the mud walls... someone serving you delicious paranthas with mixed pickle... uncle preparing your favorite coffee... little Gautam feeding off his mother or playing with his simple toys...
By now the village is bustling with activity and so is your room. Neema, diwani, draupadi... everyone has surrounded you in anticipation of their teaching classes. They are not here only for the classes but because they love being with you. They can clearly see the love and concern you have for each of them. You are not there with them on an egoistical trip of doing something good for society. You love this whole thing more than they do. You laugh with them, you scold them for not doing their homeworks, you play games with them, you hug them , fight with them, you try to convince them to leave your stuff alone.
After lunch you are beginning to feel the slowness of the surroundings, so you decide to get out a bit. May be to your new found retreat by the river. You absolutely loved that place and I am sure you keep going back to it. I can see you sitting on that rock beside the rushing river - nothing but that lovely sound of gallons of water flowing violently down, an occasional bird call. You close your eyes in meditation letting the calmness of the surrounding seep in. At one point I would have struggled to imagine you in a still state - you are so full of energy always - so bubbly, laughing away, making noises. But you never fail to surprise me as if word impossible wasn't coined for you.
Slowly the light will start filling in your room. Your open doors will let everyone know that you are awake. Kheemu would be itching to get into your room or did he sleep with you last night. Oh how I envy that little beast. He simply adores you, as do all the other kids. I often wondered about your relationship with Kheemu whenever I saw you two together. I know you like to think of yourself as his big sister but I see so much motherhood in the way you look at him. Kheemu on the other hand is so protective about you that he acts more like your big brother sworn to defend you from all harm. Or does he think of himself as your boyfriend anxiously waiting to grow up so that he can get married to you :-).
Morning tea... getting dressed... morning chores... bending down through the small door to join everyone for breakfast... everyone circled around the kitchen fire... red light of the burning wood illuminating the mud walls... someone serving you delicious paranthas with mixed pickle... uncle preparing your favorite coffee... little Gautam feeding off his mother or playing with his simple toys...
By now the village is bustling with activity and so is your room. Neema, diwani, draupadi... everyone has surrounded you in anticipation of their teaching classes. They are not here only for the classes but because they love being with you. They can clearly see the love and concern you have for each of them. You are not there with them on an egoistical trip of doing something good for society. You love this whole thing more than they do. You laugh with them, you scold them for not doing their homeworks, you play games with them, you hug them , fight with them, you try to convince them to leave your stuff alone.
After lunch you are beginning to feel the slowness of the surroundings, so you decide to get out a bit. May be to your new found retreat by the river. You absolutely loved that place and I am sure you keep going back to it. I can see you sitting on that rock beside the rushing river - nothing but that lovely sound of gallons of water flowing violently down, an occasional bird call. You close your eyes in meditation letting the calmness of the surrounding seep in. At one point I would have struggled to imagine you in a still state - you are so full of energy always - so bubbly, laughing away, making noises. But you never fail to surprise me as if word impossible wasn't coined for you.
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